Shades of Red - Part One

- life-granting color; worn by brides and babies (Asian definition of Red)

Red is the most striking color, and for me, it is a color that bombarded my life over the past two years. Chenlu entered my life two years ago and I have not been the same since. A woman from the Red Country of China, as pure and simple as China can get, reached through my layers of emotions and grabbed my heart, or rather, my heart grabbed her. With Shades of Red, I choose to write about me falling in love with Chenlu and our relationship as we journey down a road less taken.

I tried to sleep as my head slouched against the car window and I winced at the sound of our taxi driver's horn. His way of politely telling the motor scooter to move away. We passed hundreds of motor scooters that day, as we did everyday, returning from a factory visit. We were tired and borderline car sick from the roller coaster movements and the lack of fresh air. The road straightened for a bit, and the motor scooters were too far to see. The car smoothed out its bumps and I sat up to wonder why. I looked over to my right, and Chenlu lay still against the car door. I paused, and noticed that she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. In the dregs of a long, traveling day, in and out of dirty factories, with quick meals and little sleep the night before, this was hardly a woman's ideal moment to shine. But, she shined brilliantly.

"What?" she said in her soothing accent that made her English fun to listen to. "What are you looking at?" I explained that at that very moment, with a tired mind and body and without much thought, that I wanted to grow old with her. In my forty plus years on earth, I have never had a thought about growing old with someone and I saw that with her. I explained that I can imagine her old with me and how incredibly beautiful she will remain in my eyes.

Like many of our conversations and interactions between each other, translation can be lost. In this case, she thought I was saying that she looked old. She didn't take my comments as a compliment or even fancied the idea of growing old together. It was like a drop of water hitting a well waxed car hood, it just rolled off. But that moment was not for her, it was for me. The moment I was granted a life of love.

The taxi swerved a little, and honked his horn again. I leaned my head against the inside of the car, and closed my eyes. This time with a little smile on my face.

Family - Part Two

Deja vu! Yesterday morning early, my soon-to-be fiancee and I awoke early to partake in a old family ritual: Garage Sale-ing. The weekly Saturday sunrise activity is part thrift, part discovery, and part gamesmanship. For me, I realized yesterday, that it started young and shaped some of the way I do things today.

Today, the economy is rough and Garage Sales offer deals. We experienced that yesterday, as Chenlu and I filled our apartment with a couch, desk, wall hangings, and other small things for under $100 dollars. Our apartment feels much more like a home, and we enjoyed the experience of working together to find the second-hand treasures. Nothing to big about saving money for the coming year.

However, the discovery makes Garage Sale-ing so much fun. It is a treasure hunt, with a map and tools, but the treasures are unknown. For whatever reason, I like bargains. I love bargains. I have such a hard time paying full retail for anything, but do not hesitate to buy multiples of things on sale. Funny though, I do not care for second-hand stores, etc. I believe Garage Sale-ing is acceptable to me because I meet the previous owners of the goods. I get a chance to discover how they live, where they live, what other goods they are selling, and how they sell the goods they do no want anymore. It makes the purchase feel better. It is like taking a pet from an owner that has to move away. That is part of what makes the discovery of treasures so great for me, and satisfies my emotional desire to get a deal.

It is especially fun to work the deal. I found myself going back in time as a child or even 10 years ago and checking into deal maker's mode. If you find a good prospective seller with something you like, you immediately ask for a price on the item and once the price is given...you wait. Put the item down, subtly communicate that you are not happy with the initial price and begin to move around the merchandise. Check to see if there is anything else you might want from the sale, because you know that the initial price is either coming down or you are going to create a nice combination of things for that price. Lower prices or more merchandise is the game.

This, of course, was learned early on as our family went to garage sales and swap meets almost every weekend. The lessons of negotiation, patience, value sourcing, self sacrifice, working together as a team, and stepping back to analyze the situation are all vital elements to the art of Garage Sale-ing. As I finished up yesterday and unloaded our treasures, it struck me that I use those elements in my day-to-day work life.

I now realize that the greatest treasures of my childhood garage sale-ing days have materialized in the form of those valuable lessons, not the second-hand toys and games that ended up at our garage sales.